六六、致C. W. 書
(五月廿九日)
Indeed I have been drifting—farther and farther away from my main purpose. Not without a plausible pretext perhaps, —that is the worst of it. I have long needed a steersman who can set me on the right course. Yet so far no one, except you, has been able to give me what I am surely in need of. For a time I began to see dimly through mine own eyes this drifting, and was alarmed by it. And then this Sino-Japanese Crisis upset the whole thing and once more I found excuses for my irrelevant activities.
You have been very kind. You have done me a great deal of good. I have now determined to live up to what you said to me yesterday…
So much for idle wishing—how
It steals the time! To business now!
To business now!
〔中譯〕
實際上,吾有點放任自流——正日漸遠離吾之主要目標(biāo)。也許,這主要該歸于,吾總會找一個似乎言之有理之借口,——這是最為糟糕的。吾早就需要一位“舵手”,他能指明方向,使吾沿著正確之航線前進。然而,迄今為止,除足下之外,還沒有人能給予吾如此之幫助,而這正是吾之所極需的。曾經(jīng)有一段時間,吾自己開始朦朦朧朧地意識到,吾之所作所為似在放任自流。這使吾驚恐不已??墒?,此次中日危機把一切都攪亂了,吾再一次為自己開脫,為吾所干的與吾之志向不相干之活動找到了借口。
足下為人友善,助人為樂,為吾做了許多于吾有益之事。此刻,吾已下定決心,當(dāng)按昨日足下告吾之良言行事……
一度沉溺于癡心妄想,
蹉跎了多少美妙之歲月!
現(xiàn)在趕快動手!
現(xiàn)在趕快動手!